It can only happen to me

I know that this could not happen to just anybody. It could only happen to me.

Living in a fifth wheel can mean living in tight quarters. You have to make room for everything you need to bring with you while you're on the road. Sometimes this means being a little inventive.

I needed a shelf put over my toilet. I wanted my deodorant and body sprays, powders, and perfumes at a reasonable reach. I hate getting out of the shower stark naked and having to crawl under the tiny bathroom sink to find my deodorant or my powder.

So over to Walmart we went to find a shelf for the back of the toilet. Now just any old shelf won't do. It can't be a shelf with any weight to it or it will be too heavy to mount to the wall. The walls in these RV's are paper thin and impossible to hang anything.

We couldn't find a suitable shelf anywhere. We searched through the bathroom department and the hardware department, the bedding department and the auto department finally I settled for one of those shelves that stand behind the toilet.

I could hardly wait to get it into the trailer and set up. Ahh no more crawling around the floor searching on my hands and knees under the bathroom sink for my stuff. We get the shelf home and out of the box and it doesn't work. The trailer toilet is set up different than a home toilet. The toilet is closer to the wall and the back of the toilet is actually touching the wall. When I set this shelf up over the toilet you couldn't stand up without hitting your head on the bottom shelf.

I thought of everything to fix it. I thought if we put blocks under the legs it would raise it up higher, maybe even enough to clear our heads. Nope didn't work, it was to close to the ceiling. So we cut off the legs completely and eliminated the first shelf just above the toilet. Now it had two shelves instead of three and it cleared our heads perfectly when we stood up.

George mounted it to the wall using screws and hollow wall anchors. It worked and looked beautiful. I quickly filled it with all my goodies. Everything in plain sight. No more searching. How wonderful this shelf is.Fits beautifully over the toilet.

Last night we went to dinner with Carol and Jimmy. It was Chinese food, with lots of soya sauce, and I drank lots of coke. I knew I should have used the rest room before we left the restaurant. But I hate using restaurant restrooms, I avoid them as much as I can. So I thought I would hold it until we got home.

As I ran from the car to the trailer I was doing the pee pee dance and undoing my shorts before I even got through the door. I rushed to sit, hit the shelf and over went the bottles. At this point I couldn't fix them or stand them back up so I left them. I finished my business and I stood to flush the toilet. Just as I stepped on the lever to flush the toilet, George let the dogs out to do a pee of their own. The weight of the two heavy dogs jumping down on the stairs shook the trailer. The timing was perfect, off the shelf rolled the bottle and down the hole went my Calgon body spray!!

The whole big bottle. It happened so fast. It fell just perfect, straight down and straight down the hole of the toilet. If I would have only thought quick enough I could have taken my foot off of the lever and closed the hole. I was doing up my shorts and I tried to catch it with one hand but I missed. Oh crap!! I ran to get the flashlight to look down the hole. I couldn't see that bottle anywhere. Damn where could it have gone? I looked and looked nothing. It reminded me of I love Lucy.....Oh Ricky.... I pictured myself crying just like her when I had to splain all this to George. All I could think of was Calgon take me away.

The bottle ended up getting caught in the the valve for opening the black water. We couldn't open or close it. Jimmy and George tried to flush it out, but no such luck. The bottle was there to stay. George crawled under the trailer today and worked on it for a few good hours until he finally got that bottle out of our tank.